Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

One morning: gloomy, foggy, the early morning chills razoring beneath my skin. It may be autumn but almost feels like winter with the cool, crepuscular days. Thank heavens for the breathtakingly beautiful autumnal colours.

Then, crushed in the sofa under the soft grey throw over and clutching the iphone tightly around my fingers slicing through instagram. A spike of sadness glance through me, before I know it, a deep heavy sigh is coming out at the vision of other’s life: holiday pics, the perfect sun kissed selfies, the amazing adventures, the hot other halves. Seeing the lives of strangers, friends, through the lenses of filters and pixels somehow forms this tight nought around my chest. The feeling is there but I refuse to acknowledge it, yet it is slowly creeping between my consciousness, gaining momentum –and then it is there –exposed, visible –a feeling I know all too well. SELF PITY, written in boldest of colours.

I have no idea why I entertain those thoughts to make myself feel miserable.What is it about the life of others that makes me feel all sorts of ways.

Everyone is different. When I was little I used to take comfort by looking down on my fingers, all five of them —they vary in sizes and shape. This was imprinted to my mind — every one of us is unique and we all lead complex lives. None of us is perfect. If someone tells you that they are, they either in denial or in pretence. It is simply not the truth. We all have obstacles, it can be varied. We each deal with our circumstances in ways that suits us. Something that might seem horribly wrong right now to you might be rectified by someone with ease.

Therefore, there is absolutely no point in dwelling over things we don’t have. The bottom line is everyone wants something that they don’t have. It’s that simple. The human nature.

When we are focused on what we don’t have, not only we waste our precious time and energy, it brings a lot of resentment. From experience, I feel deprived and overall pessimistic when I envy the life of others.

It is quite comical when you really think about it: majority of the times I don’t even know these people and it somehow has the ability to make me feel sh*t.

The only life I could control is mine, not anyone else’s. So, why not exude my energy into making my life better —focus my energy on me for a change. I can confirm long walks down the quite park with the scattered autumn leaves, deserted railway: it makes all the difference. Autumn walks are always recommend.

Life is a jigsaw puzzles: many pieces that don’t fit and finding the right one can be difficult. There are moments that make us. Moments that breaks us. Heartbreak. Misfortune. Glimmer of good news. Consequences of life changing decisions. This and more is everyday life. When we complain about things we don’t have, we will never have enough. By comparing we have nothing to gain but a lot to lose.

Social media: it is there to make us envy. Then again, no one would post something on it without it looking profoundly “beautiful”. We would be fooling ourselves if we believed everything we saw.

Therefore, I am glad to say I have taken a more pragmatic approach towards social media. Lets celebrate our achievements, take pride in solving the many “jigsaw puzzles” as I sit with a cup of tea (it always seem to solve all my problems) and engulf ourselves with self love rather than self pity.

Thanks so much for reading xx

16 Comments

  1. I think this is one of the worst things about social media, and social media adds to the comparison! So many people post pictures of that great party they have been to, or that vacation they went to, but noone posts the full story in social media! Noone has it figured out, even if that appears to be the case!

    We have to focus on bettering ourselves, and not trying to compare and better others. Thanks for sharing!

    Feel free to read some of my blogs 🙂

    Like

  2. I feel the same thing most of the time, seeing all these people living their best lives while I’m sitting on my couch binge watching a series 😅 it is one of disadvantages of being on social media. Like, you said we can only control our own life, we just need to focus on ourselves and our own goals rather than looking at someone else’s 😊 And, we are all awesome in our own ways. 🤗💕

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you so much for sharing this. I have been struggling with this lately, and having thoughts of “I wish that was happening to me”, “I wish I was as pretty as her”. And you’re so right in what you have said in this post.

    We need to remember how amazing we are 💛

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know. I deleted my Instagram. Sometimes when I am entertaining these thoughts —it becomes very toxic. May download it again but for now need a break.

      I am glad you enjoyed reading it. Just know you are not alone, we all go through the phase. Xx

      Liked by 1 person

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