What Self Love Looks Like

I always say to love and be loved by others is easy, but to be truly, madly, deeply in love with yourself is the hard part. It’s bitter. It takes certain amount of healing to accept every part of yourself. The self infecting wound, mistakes, time and again putting others before yourself, and taking for granted the value of your existent. So why is it so damn hard to love oneself? It should be easy, given that we are stuck with ourselves till the ultimate demise.

Mostly I believe, we take ourselves for granted. Why you say, because it’s easier. Self love comes from self acceptance, being okay with where you are in life. That doesn’t mean having a great body or wanting to see the replica of a life you view in your insta feed. It’s about taking life as it comes. Embracing the struggles, accepting the joys of everyday and most of all believing in good things are waiting to happen for you. So without further ado –let’s indulge in all things self love.

Setting Boundaries

It’s the hard part but most rewarding. It allows us to put ourselves first. Know when to draw the line. Not let others take control of our emotional wellbeing. This means not giving anyone the power to make you feel inferior. Ultimately, it’s the ability to say NO, without feeling guilty. By setting personal boundaries, you’re telling others how you want and expect to be treated. Further how you want to be spoken to, the line that cannot be crossed. You can do all of that without being mean or disrespectful —it’s about you and your personal space. Respect it and let others respect it aswell.

Learn About Yourself

It’s fundamental that we learn about our likes/dislikes. I see it as having a relationship with myself. I want to know what makes me tick; the things that makes me happy; what my body/mind wants. It’s the little things. Since I started paying more attention to myself I realised —I am more of a introvert, I like my own company. Bookworm. Has a vivid imagination. Prefer face to face conversation over text/calls. Put yourself in the pedestal make yourself the priority —like we do in our various relationships. Be in a relationship wih yourself and cherish it. Remember: when we love ourselves, we love others better.

Forgiving Yourself

I cannot stress enough about this point. We make mistakes. We learn from it. Just move on. Give yourself the break. You deserve it. I am not saying don’t hold yourself accountable —do that, it’s important. What I am saying is don’t dwell on it. We are all imperfect. But we all have the ability to heal.

Being Kind & Compassionate

Treat yourself as if you were someone who you are responsible for helping.

Jordan B. Peterson

Exactly that. Be kind to yourself. You are more than what you think.

Checking In With Yourself

Self care is about checking in with yourself. I like to have a conversation with myself quite often. Long reflective conversations. To know how I am feeling; the struggles I am facing; what I can do to improve my mental health. I remember someone once told me it’s all about treating yourself as a human being with feelings.

Invest Time In Yourself

It’s one of my favourite and most impactful way towards self love because it changes the opinion you have of yourself. The slow realisation of I am worth more than this or I deserve better. Mostly, seeking approval from yourself when making decisions, for example is this going to make me happy? Be selfish for your own sake. Going a little further from checking in with yourself to investing real time into your wellbeing. And see how that makes all the difference in your life.

The road to each of our self love journey looks different and that’s okay as long as we are on the road heading to our destination. Love yourself with all your heart, it’s not always easy but it’s always worth it.


  1. Such a beautiful post , Shahrin! Love the points you make. The road to self love is often tough but it’s worth it in the end. Forgiving yourself and not being hard on yourself is so important. 😊


  2. I often think about people who take theirselves for granted, these people are probably the most selfless people in the world and it’s sad to think that they put others first but forget about themselves. Self love is soooo important, investing on ourselves is the greatest thing a person can do. Like you said be selfish once in a while because it’s okay to think about ourselves first sometimes. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We need to do it more often. Holding ourselves accountable is fine but not captive of a decision we made. We ought to be more kind to ourselves.

        Thank you for reading✨🧡 x

        Liked by 1 person

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