How does it feel like?
I have always wondered. How does one feel when their dreams come true. Well, something similar happened to me a couple of weeks ago, my life changed, in a very good way. The problem was I didn’t understand just how to react to it. I was happy that much was sure but it wasn’t just happiness —it was a lingering sadness that refused to leave me even with a piece of life-changing news.
The reason for writing this post as I found my self crying in the morning, staring out the window while sipping on my coffee. I was surprised to find my checks wet because I didn’t have any reason to shed tears. I guess we all react differently to good news after a long time.
I think I touched on this briefly previously but —it was pretty clear from the beginning I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t grasp the idea of something really good has happened to me. I have carved for it happen for so long, imagined how I would feel, rehearsed the moment in my head but real life was much different than I could have ever envisioned. Even weeks later, all I can say is I feel overwhelmed. With that I must precede.
SOMETHING BAD WILL HAPPEN
A lot of you might relate to this, with added anxiety even good things after a while feels like bad. The thought process is this: something bad is bound to happen because a good thing just happened. It doesn’t make sense but it’s a constant in my mind. I am always on alert —something is to go wrong, too many good things not going to happen at once. I start to think about the future, far ahead, what will happen then. Now is clear but few months, years down the line —what will happen. I got through this problem but can I get through that problem and, problems after that. And on and on it goes. Non-stop.
NOTHING IS SATISFYING
I told my sister, this only goes to show looking at the pattern of my behaviour over the weeks, nothing is satisfactory in life. Even those moments you craved all your life, meticulously planned how it will change your life (it does change it) but for everything to sink in, it will take time. I found it just best to enjoy those little moments than those extraordinary ones. The long hugs, morning tea, flowers, sound of rain to reading a good book. The small joys of everyday.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
But most of all count all the blessings that came my way. It has taken a lot of sacrifices and hard work to get to the good news. Might as well be brave enough to enjoy every moment that took so much out of me to get to it. If you are anything like me and are constantly afraid of something terrible happening, please keep in mind good things are waiting to happen for you. In the meantime cherish all those beautiful moments that made you feel happy. Be grateful. Rest, recover, be kind to yourself and know bad times are temporary. I know it’s not always easy to navigate through life when anxiety is coming at you with full force, remember those bad thoughts doesn’t control you. You are strong. You can get through this as well and enjoy all the good moments life is kind enough to give you. I am telling myself every day to appreciate all the opportunities of life without being a prisoner of my mind. I have good days and bad days and today I am choosing to soak in the possibilities of what’s to come and I hope you can do that too.
Related: 11 Ways To Practice Gratitude
I hope you have enjoyed reading this. I am going through a big transition in my life and I might be off from this but I will try my best to keep on schedule. Let me know what you think —I love to hear from you.