This one may be a little different than what you are used to. I have been wanting to write this for a long time but it’s hard to find the words that would match my feelings. I don’t want to be dramatic but I have never envisioned this day where I would be contemplating deleting this page. I have always been incredibly transparent on this page, from documenting my struggles with mental health to the uncertain pace of my life – I found solace in words. Giving structure to my thoughts was my way of surviving through the turmoil. I have been writing for a couple of years now – 4 years to be exact – that’s some going I think for a girl who was insecure in her writing. I was brave to be sharing some of the intimate details of my mental wellbeing – it was always in the hope that it would reach someone who might be struggling and for me to look back at those at a better time in life. I often go back and read those posts – most of those are privatised now – but they provide me with some needed perspective over the years.
My writing has changed a lot from then, nothing drastic because that was my blogging identity – the raw reality of life. I think change is about growing up, becoming more confident, understanding this space has become a little more than just my online journal. I know a lot of us to create our blogs to share our passion for writing and to tell our stories. Have conversations about the incredible, beautiful and painful pieces of our daily lives. A wholesome community. I am so grateful to be part of this.
Related: A Writer’s World | Thoughts
I am aware this is beginning to sound like a goodbye post but it isn’t, not yet. The purpose of this post is more for me to reignite my love for blogging, finding the excitement about all things online. Just getting back to the rhythm by looking at the very beginning when I first had this outrageous idea of blogging. This may be all over the place because I am feeling all over the place in regards to blogging. Let’s look back together at this fulfilling yet tiring journey…
Why I decided to write..
When I was younger I wasn’t the most bright kid out there but somehow, always – writing has been my way of expressing myself. Even in those days when I only knew a handful of words, I would open my notebook and get to creating sentences. I guess I always wanted to tell stories even if I didn’t know it yet. It may have started in school after a very painful heartbreak at the age of 13 when I genuinely thought my life had no meaning, I turned to writing – creating a space where I did get my happily ever after. I have written a couple of stories since then but none as passionate as that one!
Reading has got to be it factor in my writing. You know how much I love to read, fiction is the best thing that has ever happened in this world. My love for reading goes back a long, long way and it slowly enabled me to find the inner storyteller in me. The fictional world has been my escapism for as long as I can remember and without me realising I was falling in love with words. The power of words and how it makes us feel. I wanted to be part of that group – taking simple words to create something so powerful that makes you truly feel. You know that feeling. We all have a book, quotes, speeches that had made us feel in a way we never thought was possible. Finding new emotions within us – it’s something else. I could go on and on about the power of words and the importance of using them correctly. It can either make you feel good or tear you down. Use it responsibly.
Related: The Power Of Words
On a final note, the main aim for my blog is readers enjoy the stories I have to tell and I can offer some comfort to you via my personal experience of depression and dealing with the uncertainties of life. That at the end of every hardship – there is light waiting to greet you. Ultimately, I write for myself. A kind of therapy for myself, a way of dealing with my own doubts and worries about the passing of time. So, I hope readers find the same comfort in reading it as I do in writing it.