My Life As A Introvert

Before I begin, I want to say a huge thank you to Olivia for her helpful post on writer’s block where I found this idea -if you are stuck for new ideas, make sure to check out her blog.

I have more books lying around my bookshelf than I have contacts on my phone. That pretty much sums up my life. Although I do have very few people I call my friends but in general it’s hard for me to connect to people in a deeper level. I like to keep myself to myself. I enjoy my own company. Having said that, I can make conversations with anyone anywhere -pretty sociable in that part but for the life of me, do not ask to continue this mini conversation into something more. Because I simply cannot. The amount of times I have lost touch with people for inability to open up. It’s funny because I come from a family of over sharers -my sister would tell you her deepest secret at the first meeting and you cannot get me to tell you anything about myself other than I like to read. What can I say, we are polar opposites and inseparable, to a point people generally asks us: do you ever spend time with anyone else?

READING

My first love! I found reading at a time when I was completely broken. So many changes were happening in my life and I desperately needed something to escape from reality. Enter the beautiful, magnificent world of fiction. A short ride away into your fantasy world: looking for Alaska with Miles as he figures the brand new world of Culver Creek Boarding School; waking with Grace as she untangles the pieces of her life; Follow Alice as she desperately tries to hold onto her horrible secrets -so many worlds, waiting to be discovered within those pages. Those hours spend in the library tucked away from real life, behind the shelves -ready to be transported in another world.

SELF SUFFICIENT

That I have always been. Unconsciously from a young age – I relied on myself and when it became a nessesity it as easily done – thank god for all the training in my earlier days. Where people look for validation from others – I am my own judge and critic. Solitary life has been my chosen one – away from the buzz, a comfort show on telly, cup of tea with the dying light of the sun – I am at my most content. Around others I have this tendency to overthink everything – I worry about tribal things which sucks all the joy out of spending qualiy time with others. It’s something I am actively working on. I think it’s mostly comes from this insecurity that I have fed myself all through the early teen years – I am not enough, I can never be like them – in the process I have allowed myself to build walls around me. It’s a odd one, even if I tried to get close to people, I could never be truly myself because I have a thing where I am afraid to 100% commit to anything when I believe it would inevitably lead to disappointment.

I am one tough cookie – need a lot of staying in my pace, working that extra bit harder to peel all the layers. Although I must say I don’t expect everyone I meet to put all the effort in getting to know me – but I think among all the chitchat – you would know if someone is really willing to know you properly. Does that make sense – I don’t know, I might have just rambled a lot here.


I hope you have enjoyed reading this. Even though I am bad at replying to texts messages I do appreciate random acts of kindness – not those birthday messages but out of the blue Monday messages to check in. Those are my favourites. Let me know if you can relate because I am sure I am not the only one. Are you a extrovert or a introvert?

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11 Comments

  1. I feel ya, sister. 🙂 I’m an introvert, too – and I relate to so much of this. I’m self-sufficient – and happiest when all is well in my home and I’m on my own. And I’m sure the aspects of my personality that go beyond introversion and cross over into “issues with people” likely stem from deep-rooted insecurity, too – that probably comes from a lack of acceptance (from others and myself). However, I’m not good at small talk – and I tend to operate at a level that I’m sure you would consider “oversharing” if I feel comfortable (in an effort to connect with someone on a deep level). BUT, the key is, I have to be comfortable. If I’m not, you’re only getting surface-level info out of me – and I think that’s completely justified. 🙂

    I must say, you sound very self-aware and comfortable with who you are. 🙂 It has taken me YEARS to even accept the fact that I am, indeed, an introvert – and to not automatically view that as a “weakness”. (Again, lack of acceptance from others hasn’t helped matters.) But, while my self-acceptance is still very much a work-in-progress, I’m finally learning to work with what comes naturally to me (rather than trying to radically reinvent myself) and to notice / OWN my strengths.

    Movies and TV are my preferred methods of escaping into stories, and I launched a classic film blog this summer. (I’m a blogging newbie.) Recently, I wrote a post about how discovering Bob Newhart (and specifically, The Bob Newhart Show) became my first step in embracing who I am as an introvert. I’d love for you to check it out! https://classicfilmconnection.wordpress.com/2021/09/06/bob-newhart-the-introverts-hero/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey -thank you for this!
      I haven’t been very active in my blog so just seen this. Hopefully your new blogging journey is going well.
      Again, thank you for this lovely comment, glad to know you have enjoyed reading it xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Definitely agree – introverts are super self-sufficient. In a weird way, if I got a flat tire on the highway, I would prefer to stand on the side of the road Googling ‘Huw too Xhangr a 5ire’ (I’d probably have sweaty hands while typing) while indignant motorists toss half-filled bottles of Gatorade at my head rather than call a friend or tow truck for help.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Definitely an introvert, and it’s very hard to reach out and get to know people. Maybe I’m bias but, I like being independent and self sufficient. It’s helped me figure out who I am and my likes and dislikes.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. So SO relatable! I am a total introvert who finds it very hard to open up and let people in. Like you, I’ve also learnt to be self sufficient and not need anyone else to help out. And I love being lost in the world of a good book too! SO SO ALIKE! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

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