Why Can’t I Hold Onto Happiness

10:00 I brought a notebook today. This happens whenever I feel a certain way and I am not sure how to explain ‘certain way’ as it is a complied of many emotions. From exhaustion, emptiness, to void -how to untangle these emotions without feeling too overwhelmed -I do not know. I have started a new job, although I am excited about the whole process and getting an I love you on the third day – children are the sweetest – I still cannot figure how I am feeling about it all. These damn feelings you cannot quite understand them despite trying your best. I know a lot of you reading this can relate -changes are hard to come in terms with. Even with changes you wanted for so long, when it starts happening to you it feels like the worst thing ever. Its a odd one.

As I often mention life is a mixture of good and bad. Not everything can be planned. The void I feel may never go away, but it wouldn’t be as deep as it is now. All scars heal even those stubborn ones. I try my best to live according to this. The other day while I was getting ready I burst into tears – I know I suffer from depression, the feeling of absolute sadness, it comes and goes much like anxiety. With everything going on around us from India to Palestine -the world is in a bad place to say the least. Its getting harder and harder to stay in your positive bubble. To all those who feel Why can’t I hold onto happiness -I feel you.

New job, regular exhaustion, unable to juggle everything and a cold shower in the evening got to me thinking and here we are with happiness. You know how much I love to explore this topic. So why is it that I cannot hold onto the blissful feeling of contentment…

Related: What It Means To Be Truly Content


This is the root cause of most of my problems. I have no other thought process other than this. A lot of us with anxiety struggle with overthinking. The funny thing is whenever I go in my relaxation mood -I automatically cook up something as small as did I switch off my cooker to the constant something bad will happen. It’s a mess. Although I have learned to better cope with the big monster of what if -I still struggle with thinking way too much. I have to fill up the extra space in my head with all the nuggets of worries to a point without those little bits of it I feel odd. Hello, anxiety!

I could only cope with those anxiety episodes and endless overthinking due to my spiritual stability. I know the bad things are mostly created by my mind and admitting to myself when I am feeling overwhelmed. Taking regular brakes and understanding not everything can be controlled. All we can do is try our best and leave the rest. It would turn out as it is supposed to. Have a good crying session, dust yourself off, pick yourself up and start over. Time doesn’t stop for anyone, keep moving, keep living.

Related: 7 Simple Ways To Stop Overthinking


This may be why I can’t hold onto happiness because I am not allowing myself to take the moment and appreciate all the good things that are constantly happening around me. From a good bubble bath to being surrounded by loved ones. It is important to be grateful for those moments because, in the end, this is what matters the most. Happiness is not a constant feeling, one has to actively work towards it. It is about changing your attitude and knowing good things are always available to you. Sometimes we just got to embrace it.

I know right now it is hard to keep a positive attitude towards life but I hope we can all take baby steps toward it. We can all collectively do what we can to be kind to one another and can appreciate all the good things in our life. Count our blessings and can share them in any way we can.

Related: Small Pleasures Of Life

I hope you can take something away from this. I will be the first one to admit things are difficult at the moment but please can we all take a moment and pray for each other. Things will get better, there’s no doubt about it. We will all find our happiness and able to hold onto it for as long as we like. There’s this thing to be hopeful about! Here’s sending you lots of love and positivity.



  1. The overthinking drains out all the energy from me, so I can relate to this 💗💗 but you are right about we fail to appreciate many good things in life and rather focus on things that we have no control over……❤❤❤
    Very beautifully written shahrin💗💗


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